She.

It is not in my nature to write about...feelings about people. Most would be about ideas and abstract concepts. Well, I suppose this approximates it in some way.



The first girl I had feelings for? When I was 12 and I looked at her. Now I know the meaning of "crush". I thought at first. Feelings...some of them don't go away easily, now do they? 5 years later, I'm writing about her, here...now.



Do I love her? I don't know. Maybe I still have just a crush. Maybe its love. Maybe its the Coke. I don't know.



But you know what? My feelings don't go away all the same. She's beautiful. She's awesome, wonderful. She's cheerful, delightful and just exudes her own confidence.



That's at least, what I think about her.



I have always wanted to tell her my feelings. Oh, how tempting. Yet, my convictions hold me back. Love is a not now, not yet for me. I do believe that. I do believe that relationships started at this...volatile age are risky. I don't deny they might still work. But I play it safe.



Maybe I should tell her. Maybe I shouldn't.



Until then, I wait.



I fear also, that she won't have the same feelings for me. Another thing holding me back. Yes, I suppose we all do have that fear.



Until then, I hope.



Maybe, a long time from now...we'll meet again. And then I'll say...I love her. Maybe its not love. Maybe it is. But my feelings? No, they're called love. Maybe they might be gone. Maybe they'll remain, after so long.



But maybe that is just in my dream. One always eventually wakes up from them.



I hope, still.



A fools hope, but a hope nonetheless.



Gotta go now, the Unilever assignment beckons.